For the first time
by typingfasterthanyou
Summary: these times are hard, they're making us crazy, dont give up on me baby. set after swa choice


**So heres a song-fic venting my feeling about sonny with a choice**

**disclaimer: I dont own swac**

**sorry for any typo's, dont have time to fix them**

_She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart_

from where I stood outside her window, I could see the outline of a sleeping sonny Munroe through the blinds, even though it was only 8 o'clock. I could see her toss and turn, sit up and then lie back down again. I felt so bad that this was all my fault, she broke up with me, but it was my actions that caused all this. Ina moment of inspiration I pulled out my phone, but all I could do was stare at my background. She was so beautiful.

_While i'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar_

after giving up and finally leaving her house I automastically went to my place of residence for the last few weeks. The bar. There I sat, drinking jack, trying to forget everything, everyone. But I couldnt forget her. Her image was hurnt into my skull, nothing could shake the mental image of her when she found out what i'd done. What i'd done. Thats what killed me, that it was _me. My_ stupidity lost me my sunshine, the light of my world. Now my world was dark.

_And we don't know how we got into this mad situation  
Only doing things out of frustration_

and there I sat, reliving the moment when my world came crashing down.

_'well your gonna be really proud of this! I ordered a recount of the votes for best tween show!' I replied innocently, I had no-idea what i'd just said. I thought it was the right thing to do_

_'you did what?' sonny asked in disbelief._

_'I ordered a recount! and great news! So random lost!' I said, finally revealing the horor of what i'd done. Not that I knew it. I was blissfully unaware of what was to come.._

_'I cant believe this!' sonny said, shock evident in her voice. But I took it for the wrong kind of shock_

_'that you lost? Oh you'll get used to it! I did.' _

_'no, you didnt. You ordered a recount. Why would you even do that?' sonny asked _

_'because you felt weird about winning and I felt weird about loosing' I said, showing my reasons for hwat i'd done, but it was no excuse;. There was no excuse. 'now neither of us have to feel weird anymore. And yet, you have a very weird look on your face'_

_'its called disapointment, chad' sonny said quietly 'you were miserable not being the centre of attention for one day that you actually went and got a recount?'_

_'I just wanted things to go back to normal'_

_'normal? This isnt normal! Boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to surport each other. I cant be in a relationship with someone who always has to put themselves first!' sonny exclaimed_

_'I did it for us' I said truthfully_

_'there is no "us" I dont even know if there ever was!' sonny said, pickign up the tween choice award and handing it to me 'here, I think you two will be very happy together'_

_'are you breaking up with me? I thought I was helping!' I said, trying to desperately change her mind_

_'and thats the worst part about it. Goodbye Chad' sonny said sadly_

_'sonny, I-' I started before she cut me off_

_'pleease just go' sonny begged, pointing to the exit_

_'but'_

_'theres no second chances this time. You won the recount, but you lost me' sonny said_

now her final words to me echoed around my head '_no second chances, no second chances'_ we broke up over my frustration over loosing and hers over me winning.

_Trying to make it work but man these times are hard_

for the 10th time that night I pulled out my phone. After the usual time spent staring I types in one on speed dial and pressed call. It rang for a while before finally coming to her voicemail. And her sweet, sweet voice came out of the phone in my hand

'hey, its sonny I cant answer at the moment, sorry. But please leave a message and i'll definitely get back to you' sonny's pre-recorded voice said, it was a new message since the last time I called. When we were still together.

'unless your Chad Dylan cooper, then you can _piss off!_' tawnis voice then came out, screaching so loud that I had to hold the phone away from my ear

'yeah, thanks' sonny finished and the mechanical beep came. I pressed call end. She agreed. She wanted me to piss off. She didnt want me as much as I wanted her. Man, these times are hard

_She needs me now but I can't seem to find a time  
I've git a new job now in the unemployment line_

i'd spent so long pining after her, and the rivalry ahd got so bad that the studio eventually fired me and cancelled my show. I wasnt even upset, thats what a mess i'd got into. Of course most of so random! Held a celebration party, and they got their tween choice award back. My whole ex-cast blamed me for what happened to our show, and campagned so hard they even got a new show. Without me.

On my last day at the studio, as I packed up my dressing room I came across I picture of me and sonny from while we were dating, in my drawer. I sat down on one of the boxes and stared at it, tears rolling down my cheeks. I dont know how long I sat and bawled, but the last thing I saw before I left the studio, puffy and red faced, was sonny, sat staring at me out of the window of the prop-house. In the most cliché of moments , thunder rolled across the sky and the rain began to bucket down, drenching me.

But did she come running out into the rain?

No

did she come out and kiss me?

No

did we make up with just a friendly hug?

No!

we stared for a long moment before carrying on with our lives. Apart.

_And we don't know we got into this mess, is it gods test?  
Someone help us cause we're doing our best_

_Trying to make it work but man these times are hard_

we tried making up, we tried being 'just friends' but it never worked. There was too much chemistry, too much guilt. Too much of everything. It just never worked out. Each time one of us said

'can we try being friends again? I didnt feel replief, or happyness. In afact I felt the opposite, this wasnt how it was meant to happen. We were supposed to be together forever. At 21 i'd propose and we'd be married in the spring. We'd have kids at 27 and go off into the sunshine together. But somewhere along the way we went wrong. I went wrong. It was my fault.

_But we're gunna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine  
Sit talking up all night_

but finally friends worked. Kinda. We'd spend hours at mine, or hers or even just on the phone. I've no idea how much wine we drank over those few weeks. But it was awkward. One of us would say something and it would start over again.

We'd argue

she'd cry

i'd get angry

we'd spent a couple of days apart

we'd make friends again

it was a never ending cycle.

_Saying things we haven't for a while, a while yeah  
We're smiling but we're close to tears_

'i've missed you sonny' I breathed, pullingg her in for a friendly hug. It fekt good to finally say it. To finally admit it.

'I missed you too' she said into my shoulder, sniffling a little. When I pulled back she pulled one of her signiture sonny smiles, but I saw the unfallen tears in her wide brown eyes. And when I raised a hand to my face I felt it to be moist

'something in my eye...'

_Even after all these years  
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting  
For the first time_

'Chad?' she asked me, after the crying incident and we sat on her sofa

'yeah sonny?' I replied, trying not to drool at her beauty

'can we just, y'know, start over. As if none of this ever happened?' she asked, a small sad smile on her face

'sure' I said, a smile palying at my lips 'hi, i'm Chad' I said, winking

'i'm sonny' she said giggling and I wrapped my arm around her

'what are we coming too?' I whispered in her ear making her shiver__

She's in line at the door with her head held high  
While I just lost my job but didn't lose my flight  
But we both know how we're gonna make it work when it hurts  
When you pick yourself up you get kicked in the dirt

a few weeks later, sonny quit her job. She felt that life wasnt funny anymore. I never thought that, but I felt it more than ever when the press got a hold of what truly happened with me and sonny. I had a funny feeling tawni did it as revenge for sonny quiting. Everywhere I went, people called me name, spat on me, kicked me into the dirt. Soon enough Chad Dylan Cooper was known as 'that guy who ruined his girlfriends life' no more 'greatest actor of our generation'. Evrytime I tried to get my life back on track I was rejected.__

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard  
But we're gunna start by drinking old cheap bottles of wine  
Saying things we haven't for a while, a while yeah  
We're smiling but we're close to tears

Even after all these years  
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting  
For the first time

Drinking old cheap bottles of wine  
Saying things we haven't for a while, a while yeah  
We're smiling but we're close to tears  
Even after all these years  
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting  
For the first time  
For the first time  
Oh, for the first time  
Yeah, for the first time

Oh these times are hard  
Yeah they're making us crazy  
Don't give up on me baby  
Oh these times are hard  
Yeah they're making us crazy  
Don't give up on me baby  


one of the nights sonny was over at my apartment. We were watching a rom-com film that mirrored our lives practically, except in the end they got together. We didnt.

We were on my couch, my arm around her as she almost fell asleep in my lap. This wasnt ordinary behavior for friends ans we knew it. But niether of us admited it.

Just as the screen went blank and the credits came on the screen sonny turned in my arms. Her head resting lazily on my arm but her eyes were wide awake and staring into mine.

'Chad?' she asked me

'yeah sonny?' I replied, a strange sense of de-ja-vu overcame me

'do you...do you think we'll ever get together, again?' she asked hesitantly

'oh sonny, I dont know' I said, but my actions contrasted my words and I pressed my lips to hers briefly. 'but dont give up on me baby'

_Oh these times are hard  
Yeah they're making us crazy  
Don't give up on me baby  
_

a few weeks after that we got together 'officially', the whole time I was scared. Scared i'd loose her again. Scared i'd do something stupid. Scared tat i'd go crazy if she wasnt mine forever. So I made up my mind. I went to the best jewlers in caalifornia and chose the most gorgeous ring there. I got it enscribed

'sonny and Chad forever.

Dont give up on me baby'

I proposed in the prop-house, during a 'condor studios, tween shows reunion' in the excact spot that she broke up with me. I had no idea if it was a good or bad omen but I went for it.

'Chad, yes, of course, yes!' these words she spoke finally erased the original word she broke my heart with. These were the words perminantly inscribed in my brain.

_Oh these times are hard  
Yeah they're making us crazy  
Don't give up on me baby _

_and we were happy..._

**read and review**

**xx**


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